i’m not doing very well at the moment! the cabin is littered with food debris and dirty clothes. my bed is full of crumbs and random belongings, it hasn’t been made in about four days and i can’t remember the last time i changed my sheets. i’m having the worst period of my life – extremely bloated, anxious, hormonal, constantly craving food to quell my sadness. basically i just am not feeling like myself at the moment. i haven’t meditated in SO LONG which is making me see the world differently – like literally affecting my vision. i really don’t want to end the year like this though, i gotta say, because i’ve worked so hard and learnt so much.
i honestly don’t know what to do because i feel completely out of control!!! for a little while there weed was the thing that would get me up and meditating or up on the yoga mat or painting or reading or out on a walk but like, is that sustainable? you know? like i know lots of people use marijuana for depression but i know i can feel good without it. but the reality for me right now is that i either smoke a cone and spend the day painting, doing yoga, meditating etc, or i spend the day binge eating and watching shit on screens.