it is a feeling of utmost relief realizing you are dead to the past, and that you don’t exist in the future. let yourself really bite into that truth. there is no version of you that exists except the one writing this sentence, the one with a HUGE blow fly on her big toe. feel the vertigo and weightlessness of this realization. feel the emotions of now become tenfold as they realize their own power. feel RIGHT NOW as it realizes its own truth. right now is the entire universe. everything in your frame of vision – your sensory experience – is everything that has ever been and everything that will ever be. you must love and accept yourself now as you are to find peace. you can not love a version of yourself that does not exist and hope to one day find joy when they emerge. you are truly all you have. and inside of you, when you are truly present with what you are experiencing, you find the whole universe. you are the only point of consciousness that you will ever stand a chance of truly knowing. why direct your energy to worrying or speculating about someone else’s conscious perspective? no matter you assumptions, no matter how deeply you connect with and share with someone, you will never see through their eyes. all you will ever know is your truth, the truth of your being and of how you witness the world. cherish it 🙂
part of me wants to feel disheartened because it feels like this kind of relapse cycles just happens again and again and again. but i really believe there’s value in every stage of this journey. i just wanna take it moment by moment, acknowledging any feelings or doubts that come up. i’m ready to evolve and to choose to change. but most of all i’m ready to choose kindness and to lead with the patience and compassion of the lifeforce. i cherish this moment for all that it is, and for the piece of the journey that it represents. i choose my health. i choose my presence. i choose growth in whatever form it comes to me. i am worthy of growth. there are lessons everywhere, waiting to be transformed into parts of my spirit. i truly and fully believe that i am worthy of truth, love, kindness and patience. i am worthy and deserving of this existence, of this body, of this experience and the blessings that comes with it. i am worthy of the gift it is to heal, to spread love and to learn. i am worthy of health. i am worthy of wholeness. i am worthy and deserving of these things at any stage and in any stage.